chasing the wind

I am feeling, today, the distance of all my loved ones. How I long for constant fellowship with my lifetime friends rather than this broken line of hinted friendships dispersed between days that begin and end in my little island of an apartment, desolate and empty; a sea of walls separating my beloved and I from the rest of mankind. I loathe my heart for adventure for it has brought me far from those I cherish, and I fear it will never lead me home to them again.

I feel as though I have let them all down. Is what I am chasing in this wide world worth the distance, longing, and tears? I could very well serve God no matter where I go, so why is it that i continue to draw a line on my map that leads farther and farther from home?

-Jane